The Sign

After a fast and severe onset of preeclampsia, I gave birth to our daughter via crash c-section in December. Born at 28 weeks (3 months early), and weighing 1 lb 15oz, our little fighter spent 53 days in the NICU. Watching her through an incubator, our days turned into nights, weeks, and months. Because our little pistol came before my baby shower, we often would stop at Buy Buy Baby after our long days in the NICU to buy "need it now" items. Every time we pulled into the parking lot I was faced with this sign, "Parking for expectant mothers and parents with newborns." Well, I was no longer expecting, but had no new born in tow. My wonderful husband would offer to park there, but I would refuse, feeling guilty for taking a spot from a parent struggling with a car seat and stroller. Still recovering from surgery, we would park as close as we could, and my husband would slowly walk me through the aisles of the store.( because I was determined to move and wasn't about to wait in the car- thanks Long Island Italian genes!) I would see other Momma's pushing their babies, and I so badly wanted to tell them I had a baby too. My husband would see me longingly stare as they passed by and would whisper, "you'll be able to do that soon too, babe." Cut to almost a month out of the NICU and we are total homebodies, but I stopped at the store as soon as they opened this morning. And what did I get to do? Proudly park in the spot with this sign. Even if I was the only one in the parking lot. Even if I was only running in to get nose frida replacements. But this time, I was the parent parking with a new born in tow, struggling with the car seat and stroller, and damn did it feel good.